“i take hair ties off of my wrist before i weigh myself - nature or nurture? i wonder how many calories are in toothpaste and i only feel beautiful when my stomach growls. there’s a zoo in my belly and everyone just marvels at my self control - ignoring the captivity. you see, as a young girl, the women in my family would oftentimes tell me that they wished to be my size. forgetting that, one day, i would grow up to be theirs. what a catastrophic family tradition. i drink diet coke and smoke cigarettes for dinner. i make the meals i do eat like a mad scientist - measuring everything that dares to enter this body. but, i don’t look sick.. you can’t quite see my bones and i’d like to think that means i have it under control. you see, i’m just on a “diet” i’m just “intermittent fasting” i just “want my clothes to fit better” i’m just in the “beginning stages.” i promise, if i just lose 30 more pounds, i’ll stop. i’m not shrinking - i’m being molded - i am a sculpture made from countless creators so blame them if you don’t like the art.”
— smspoetry (via smspoetry)